Fall Funk

           I am in a fall funk.  The end of summer is a bittersweet time.  There is the promise of fall, a new school year, the freedom of having kids back in school and the excitement of new possibilities.  Implicit in this new beginning, however, is the end of long, carefree summer days and here in the Pacific Northwest the promise of lots of cold rain.

I enjoyed my summer.  My intention was to have fun and enjoy my kids.  At the beginning I maintained a regiment of working in the mornings and playing in the afternoons, but by late July all sense of structure was lost.  We went to Whidbey, played on our boat, visited with friends, swam, and had lots of campfires.  (It’s amazing how a $30 fire pit can entertain children of all ages and their Daddy.)  I allowed myself to enjoy the fun, my inner girl child was happy.  No early morning exercise classes, lots of sun and water, eating with abandon and happily enjoying a cold glass of chardonnay in the evenings.

            As August drew to an end I began to feel that inner panic of school coming.  The return to order and a regimented existence.  As you know, getting four kids ready for the school year is a feat of monolithic proportions.  The paperwork, and appointments and expense.  I didn’t leave myself much time, so our last few days were FULL.  And then they all were gone, including my sweet baby Henry.

            I thought I would love that first day of silence, but no, instead I crashed into this wall of resistance.  I don’t want to get the house organized, or do laundry, or drive to soccer practices.   My coaching work seems overwhelming, and uninteresting.  For the first time since I started my coaching program, I am tempted to throw in the towel and return to life of a full-time, stay at home mom. (Even though all my kids are gone.)

            I know that the path out of this place is turning back to myself, listening to my heart and taking really good care of myself, but this little voice says, “Screw that, I just want to sit down and read a funny novel.”  Do you ever get to that place?  You know what you need to do, but you resist?

I’m curious, how are other people transitioning into fall? Are you feeling overwhelmed or have you hit the ground running?  Leave your comments below.

How would I benefit from coaching?

Did you see my offer for “pay what you can” coaching and wonder how coaching could help you?  I thought I’d provide you with some details around what coaching is and how you will benefit from the experience.

Who is coaching for?

Self-motivated seekers ready for change.

Why would I hire a coach?

You yearn for transformation.  Life is going along “fine”, but you have a nagging, inner feeling of untapped potential.  Maybe you want inner-peace and confidence to be a more present and inspired mother.  Maybe you are a closet entrepreneur with a big dream.  Maybe it’s a career change your ready for, or you want to go back to work.   Maybe you want to actively pursue your passion for feeding the world.  The scenarios are limitless, but the call for transformation is consistent.

How does it work?

A coaching relationship is a partnership.  You bring your goals, your style, your frustrations, your longings.  I bring my curiosity, active listening skills, and a safe space to inspire your trust, awareness, and clarity.  As you deepen your understanding of yourself, you’ll see change happen naturally.  

Most coaching is done over the phone.  After an initial 2-hour Discovery Session, we’ll meet for 30 minutes a week for 12 weeks.

Why does it work?

I help you reconnect to yourself.  You know how in every personal growth quote or book you read it tells you that YOU possess all the answers.  You wonder what the hell they’re talking about because you often feel at a total loss.  I will help you uncover your answers by re-connecting to your values, passions, and purpose.  As you remember who you TRULY are, your life will start to bloom and actualization occurs.

Please email me if you have any questions or thoughts around coaching anne@annepillsburycoaching.com.

They key to Purpose-what brings you joy?

            I’ve been thinking about the concept of Life Purpose.   Finding your purpose and passion is constantly lauded as the keys to finding happiness and success.  While this is absolutely true, it’s turned into another stressful goal we strive for and are frustrated when we can’t find.  The thing is, we’re trying too hard.    Your purpose is simply to become yourself.  As Danielle LaPorte explains in the Fire Starter Sessions “realizing what lights your fire and floats your boat…if it gives you true joy then that’s your life purpose.”  So take some time and look inward.

What do you love? 

When do you feel inspired?

What activities make you loose track of time?

What feels easy?

When do you feel like you’ve really made a difference?

            Don’t think too hard! Write down the first answer that comes to mind, even if it seems trivial and ridiculous.  Your intuitive self has a wisdom your logical mind lacks.  If you’re still struggling, try to remember what you enjoyed as a kid.

When I first started the coaching process, these questions were hard for me to answer.  I hadn’t thought about what lit my fire for years and some of my answers seemed unimportant and silly.   I found that connecting to my passions, however, led me right back to my authentic self and from here possibilities and purpose naturally emerged.

You may have more than one Life Purpose. Until recently I held this limiting belief that I had only one purpose and that was to be a mother.  Part of me thought that by becoming a Coach I was some how betraying my purpose as mother.  I now see myself as having a dual purpose as a mother AND as a coach to other mother’s looking for re-invention.  The two roles mutually inspire and support each other.  Both are essential to my happiness. 

"Pay what you can" Coaching

            Don’t you hate sleepless nights? I’ve recently experienced a number of them.   Three of my four children were out of town with their grandparents for several weeks.  I coveted the extra time to work on my coaching business.  Great opportunity, right?  Unfortunately, I became mired in all my options, not sure which way to turn or where to focus.  I would head to bed and then wake at 3:00 M with my mind churning.  Blog post ideas, changes to my website content, workshops, what was I going to do to take myself to the next level?

Luckily, I just hired a great coach.  Before our last session I filled out my update form listing the 8 different directions in which I was being pulled and asked for HELP.  I needed a plan of action.

            I dragged myself out of bed the morning of our call, exhausted, with a headache and the feeling of spinning in circles.  I got on the phone and started lamenting.   My coach asked one question that stopped the crazies “which of the things on this list speak to your heart?”  Ka-boom!  My energy shifted and I began working from my heart space instead of my headspace.  My heart is infinitely wise, intuitive and, most importantly, compassionate to me.  Once I was working from my heart I gained clarity and, yes, a plan of action emerged!

            Want to know what my heart told me?  I need to coach.  I am spending too much time planning and strategizing and what my heart yearns for, and what supports me in my business, is the connection and inspiration I find in serving other women.  So in service to you, and myself, I am opening up a few spaces in my practice on a “pay what you can” basis.  I’m trusting you to define what this means for you.  Boy, do I know that times are tough and mamas don’t like spending money on themselves, but you are worth it.  “Pay what you can” gives you some space to come up with an amount that feels good to you and fits in your budget. 

Here are some testimonials from women who have worked with me.

“Anne Pillsbury was born to be a life coach—she is incredibly wise, intuitive, compassionate, and inspiring.  She truly GETS it (as a wife, a mother, a friend, and a seeker): how complicated it is for women of our generation to balance modern life with our own nagging sense of un-tapped potential…After only a couple of sessions with her, I was motivated to take a quantum leap towards investing in me and jumpstarting my career after 14 years as a stay-at-home mom.” SF, mother to three

Working with Anne over the past several months has been a wonderful experience.  She has helped me clarify my goals, have more faith in my own decision-making, and clear away the mental clutter that keeps me from getting things done.  She calls me out when I am causing unnecessary drama in my life, and guides me back on track.  It is enormously helpful to have someone to be accountable to each week, who is uniquely capable of being an unbiased observer and totally invested in your success all at once.  Without Anne’s help through this process, I would not have been able to define my intentions so clearly, and actually see them manifest.  It’s been amazing! DH, mother to 2

“Anne…has the profound ability to ask the questions that have led me to some great AH HA! moments. It's been like a puzzle piece finally fitting into place for me. I crave my weekly sessions with her and I strongly urge anyone who is frustrated with any aspect of their life to work with Anne. I feel working with Anne has propelled me by leaps and bounds in a very personal, intimate and empowering way. She is gentle, non-judgmental, and keenly aware.” AM, mother to 3

Shoot me an email at anne@annepillsburycoaching.com if you’re ready to create lasting change and we can talk.  Don’t delay because this offer expires on Wednesday, July 18^th.  To keep updated on my offerings please like Anne Pillsbury Coaching on Facebook. 

Here’s to summer and self care!  (So thrilled summer has finally arrived here in Seattle!)

Passing the Baton

      Last week my oldest daughter, Madison, graduated from eighth grade and then boarded a plane for a two-week trip to Europe with my parents.  I felt the sharp sting of the passing of time.  Gretchen Rubin, who wrote The Happiness Project, says that when raising kids “The days are long, but the years are short.”  For me this rings true.  It seems like minutes ago I had multiple children clamoring around my legs and now they’re on worldwide adventures. 

            

      I recently went for a run with Madison.  Last fall we were a pretty even match, but as we headed out this time she bounded ahead of me.  After berating myself for being out of shape and old, I took a minute and watched her.  She looked beautiful as she sprinted up that hill with power, grace and joy, her ponytail bouncing behind her.  There was no sign of the clumsy toddler she once was.  Pride and grief welled up inside as I realized she is ready to start leading her own way.

            By my nature, and as a mother I have always been the sprinter, barreling through life and leading the way.  This is what I’m used to.  I’m good at leading.  How will I be at observing?  Hanging back in the stands letting Madison run her race?  Allowing her to fall and figure out how to get back up?  I feel a certain loss of control, but I have faith that I’ve prepared her well and it is now my turn to sit back and observe.  This girl/woman, so dear to my heart, looks promising.  She’s strong and determined, yet kind beyond measure.  Her sense of self is unwavering and inspires me every day.  She knows the value of hard work, but more importantly the necessity of play.  I believe in her.  I am excited to see where she goes. I’m willing to bet on her.  I know it will be an amazing race.

The Evolution of Body and Soul

Courageous self-love is my mantra.  When I am compassionate and loving with myself I create the inner peace I desperately crave as a busy mother of four.  Each one of my clients tell me that learning to cherish themselves and put themselves at the top of their “to do” list has transformed their lives.  So here I am, a model of self-care for other women, personally and professionally, and when it comes to the persistent topic of weight and body image I fall into the all too familiar pit of self-loathing.

I have four children and with the first three, after 18 months of hard work, I’d put on those pre-pregnancy jeans. They’d finally slide on, easily buttoning over my once protruding belly. I had that feeling of returning to self. After months of handing my body and soul over to creating and nurturing a new human life (willingly and joyfully), I was back!

With my fourth child, who is now three, the story is different. I’m still holding on to that extra five pounds.  I could use the excuse of being over 40, or that I don’t have the time I once did to workout, both true statements, but what it REALLY feels like is that my inner-child, who has never had much of a chance to shine, is having a temper tantrum and wants me to love myself enough to let go and enjoy my life. I know exactly what I need to do if I want to loose 5 pounds, yet every time I start some weight reducing regime I feel a revolt from within.

           My struggle is how to make peace between the roaring internal voices.  Is there the possibility of accepting, and even loving, my stretch marks, loose skin, sagging breasts, as blessed evidence of the amazing children whom passed through me, transforming me body and soul?  These changes in my body are evidence of the power of the feminine, the awe-inspiring ability to bring fourth life.  Society likes us feel weak at our inability to maintain a certain size or weight, but my body’s changes are rooted in my power, not weakness.  Instead of seeing my body as betraying me, what is the possibility in celebrating how it has served me in my purpose as mother?

            In the shower the other day I had an epiphany.  I am struggling so hard to get back to a woman who no longer exists.  For the first time I’m living an authentic, inspired life, why am I clinging to an outdated sense of self?  Souls change and bodies do too.  I had resisted buying new clothes, kept boxes of pre-pregnancy clothes, subtly punishing myself.  I decided it was time to let go of this outdated persona and embrace who I’ve become.

•  I went shopping.  The spring colors are fabulous! I let go of my judgments around size and bought things that made me feel good.  Bright yellow shorts, a rocking maxi dress, even a couple of swimsuits!  No more “this will be perfect if I loose a couple of pounds.”  If it doesn’t fit NOW it’s not coming in the closet.
• I got rid of all those pre-pregnancy clothes.  They’re out of style now any way.
• I get up and exercise at 6 am.  I’ve found a boot camp class I like.  It’s hard getting there, but it’s worse if I don’t go. 
• I am careful with what I eat, but not militant.

I can’t say that I’ve been successful at really loving my body, but I do know that awareness is the first step to change and I am building that.  I recently attended Mamacon, a conference for and about mothers. This was one of my first times showing up as a coach for mother’s ready for reinvention.  I took the time to put on clothes I loved, did my hair and make-up. I felt good.  The evening went well.  I met up with friends later, and when I walked in they commented on the shining energy I brought to the room. I hadn’t thought about being “fat” once that night.  Maybe I’d rather be the woman lighting up the room than the thinnest woman there?

“Only when we brave the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” Brené Brown

           I’ve been in the dark.  Cocooned within myself, slowly metamorphosing. My world unalterably crumbled and, in response, I was forced to rebuild.  It was painful and lonely AND it was a brilliant opportunity for re-invention.  I spent several years flashlight in hand illuminating the hidden parts of my soul, discovering who I am at my essence.  I connected to what I hold dear and created a new vision and purpose for myself. 

            Recently, I noticed a shift within me.  I am being drawn to the light.  My soul literally craves it, the warmth of the sun on my face.  I feel the expansiveness of spring within me.  I connect to the incredible possibility contained in the tender, emerging shoots.  The brightness of their color, their vulnerability, strength and power as they quietly emerge from the rich, black earth.  The dark dirt has sustained them, yet it’s the light that brings them forth. 

I have braved the darkness and now the infinite power of the light, or more specifically my light, is pulling me forward.  It feels greater than me.  It’s scary, and I don’t feel ready, but I choose to trust and allow myself to slowly be pulled towards it.