I am in a fall funk.
The end of summer is a bittersweet time.
There is the promise of fall, a new school year, the freedom of having
kids back in school and the excitement of new possibilities. Implicit in this new beginning, however, is
the end of long, carefree summer days and here in the Pacific Northwest the
promise of lots of cold rain.
I enjoyed my summer. My intention was to have fun and enjoy my kids. At the beginning I maintained a regiment of
working in the mornings and playing in the afternoons, but by late July all
sense of structure was lost. We went to
Whidbey, played on our boat, visited with friends, swam, and had lots of
campfires. (It’s amazing how a $30 fire pit
can entertain children of all ages and their Daddy.) I allowed myself to enjoy the fun, my inner
girl child was happy. No early morning
exercise classes, lots of sun and water, eating with abandon and happily
enjoying a cold glass of chardonnay in the evenings.
As August
drew to an end I began to feel that inner panic of school coming. The return to order and a regimented
existence. As you know, getting four
kids ready for the school year is a feat of monolithic proportions. The paperwork, and appointments and
expense. I didn’t leave myself much
time, so our last few days were FULL.
And then they all were gone, including my sweet baby Henry.
I thought I
would love that first day of silence, but no, instead I crashed into this wall
of resistance. I don’t want to get the
house organized, or do laundry, or drive to soccer practices. My
coaching work seems overwhelming, and uninteresting. For the first time since I started my
coaching program, I am tempted to throw in the towel and return to life of a
full-time, stay at home mom. (Even though all my kids are gone.)
I know that
the path out of this place is turning back to myself, listening to my heart and
taking really good care of myself, but this little voice says, “Screw that, I
just want to sit down and read a funny novel.”
Do you ever get to that place?
You know what you need to do, but you resist?
I’m curious, how are other people
transitioning into fall? Are you feeling overwhelmed or have you hit the ground
running? Leave your comments below.
